MY Oregon Ducks

How many national championships in a row do you think this Duck team will win? 5? 6? I think we're looking at a minimum nine-peat. And, how much better do you think Thomas is than Masoli? Dixon? Is he better than Tom Brady yet? Joe Montana? Abraham Lincoln? Chuck Norris?? What do you think are our chances of increasing our point per minute scoring average? I mean, I think we will easily put a 100 on somebody this year but could we average that for the season? Should we really even play the rest of our games? What is the precedent for a team leaving its conference and joining the NFL? I still think we would go undefeated, but at least we could get a little better competition. 

OSewe fan checklist

-Wake up to sounds of roosters.

-Close windows to prevent naked lineman entering home.

-Genuflect before terry baker shrine.

-Eat breakfast of grits, raw eggs and milk directly from cow udder.

-Put on sports bra replica jersey

-Jump on tractor and stop at campus ag building to “visit” sheep.

-Ride tractor to burrito bowl parking lot.

-Get totally drunk on PBR and pass out before even entering stadium.

-Wake up at halftime and stumble into your seats.

-Boo home team.

-Rush field prematurely before realizing refs called a penalty and the game really isn’t over.

-Upon upset victory, knock down goalpost, killing fellow students in the process.

-In a drunken, excited stupor, head to local watering hole a.k.a. the “cock”.

-Punch a national guard soldier night before he leaves for Iraq.

-Steal university golf cart for a joyride.

-Break into woman’s house completely naked, go into 3 point stance and get tazed by cops.